You Know You're Chinese When.....

Today we're lightening things up a bit and throwing in some humor. A few years ago, my sister sent me this forward which we all found insanely funny. Why? Because it pretty much described our family. We didn't find it offensive because it's sadly mostly true. I've chosen the ones that perfectly describe my family to a tee. I'm not sure how sad this that we fit this many. And lol please don't think we are weird when you read some of these!!! If you're Chinese (or any other Asian) how many of these are true for you?

You Know You're Chinese (or Burmese too) When....

• You unwrap Christmas gifts very carefully, so you can save and reuse the wrapping and especially those bows) next year.
• You only buy Christmas cards after Christmas, when they are 50% off.
• When there is a sale on toilet paper, you buy 100 rolls and store them in your closet or in the bedroom of an adult child who has moved out.
• You have a vinyl table cloth on your kitchen table.
• You have stuff in the freezer since the beginning of time.
• You have never used your dishwasher.
• You eat all meals in the kitchen.
• You save grocery bags, tin foil, and tin containers.
• You use grocery bags to hold garbage.
• You always leave your shoes at the door.
• You iron your own shirts.
• You play a musical instrument.
• You pick your teeth at the dinner table (but you cover your mouth).
• You hate to waste food...
• a. Even if you're totally full, if someone says they're going to throw away the leftovers on the table, you'll finish them.
• b. You have Tupperware in your fridge with three bites of rice or one leftover chicken wing.
• You don't own any real Tupperware--only a cupboard full of used but carefully rinsed margarine tubs, takeout containers, and jam jars.
• You have a collection of miniature shampoo bottles that you take everytime you stay in a hotel.
• The condiments in your fridge are either Price Club sized or come in plastic packets, which you save/steal every time you get take out or go to McDonald's. Ditto paper napkins.
• You never order room service.
• You own a rice cooker.
• You wash your rice at least 2-3 times before cooking it.
• You spit bones and other food scraps on the table. (That's why you need the vinyl tablecloth).
• You fight over who pays the dinner bill
• Your dad thinks he can fix everything himself.
• You majored in something practical like engineering, medicine or law.
• You feel like you've gotten a good deal if you didn't pay tax.
• Your parents' house is always cold.
• You have a drawer full of old pens, most of which don't write anymore.
• You always look phone numbers up in the phone book, since calling Information costs 50 cents.
• You're a wok user.
• You only make long distance calls after 11pm.
• You like Chinese films in their original undubbed versions...
• a. You love Chinese Martial Arts films.
• b. Shao Lin and Wu Tang actually mean something to you.
• You never call your parents just to say hi.
• You always cook too much.
• If you don't live at home, when your parents call, they ask if you've eaten, even if it's midnight.
• Your parents never go to the movies.
• Your parents use a clothes line.
• You're always late.
• You eat every last grain of rice in your bowl, but don't eat the last piece of food on the table.
• You starve yourself before going to all you can eat sushi.
• You've joined a CD club at least once.
• You never discuss your love life with your parents.
• Your parents are never happy with your grades.
• You save your old Coke bottle glasses even though you're never going to use them again.
• You keep used batteries.
• You keep most of your money in a savings account.
• Your toothpaste tubes are all squeezed paper-thin.
• You love to go to $1.75 movies.
• You love to go to $1.50 movies even more.
• You hate to spend more than $5 for lunch.
• You turn bright red after drinking two tablespoons of beer.
• You look like you are eighteen.
• You only buy used cars.
• You have more than five remotes in your house.
• You leave the plastic on the lampshade for ten years or more.
• You can’t bear to throw things away.
• Your unassisted vision is worse than 20/500.
• You’ve worn glasses at least since the fifth grade.
• You drive around looking for the cheapest gas.
• You add twice the amount of water recommended when making orange juice from concentrate.
• You’ve never seen your parents hug.
• You never order desserts at restaurants.
• You always have water when dining out.
• You say “aiya!” and “wah!” frequently.
• Your mother is strangely obsessed with plants.
• You notice the main topic at family get-togethers is food.
• You seldom ever owned new clothes if you were a second child.
• Your folks never speak under 10 decibels at family gatherings.
• You cut your own hair or had someone in your family do it.
• You keep fresh garlic and ginger in the kitchen at all times.
• You know what the term “lemon” or a “banana” means.
• You wash and reuse ziplock bags.
• You always drink tea after a meal.
• Your parents grow vegetables in a garden.