Thursday, July 17, 2008

Love as a Way of Life by Gary Chapman and Book Giveaway

I'm giving away 2 brand new copies of today's book! Leave a comment with your email address so I can contact you if you win. I'll pick 2 names and announce the winners on Thursday, July 24. US addresses only. Good luck!

For decades Dr. Gary Chapman’s best-selling books have shown readers how to speak the “love language” of those they care about. Now he digs even deeper to uncover the foundations of what it means to cultivate a lifestyle of love and how doing so leads to satisfaction and success in every area of life.

Drawing fresh insights from timeless biblical principles, Chapman presents poignant stories of real people who have discovered the joys of living out the seven characteristics of authentic love: kindness, patience, forgiveness, humility, courtesy, generosity, and honesty. Enhanced with eye-opening self tests, practical ideas for building daily habits of love, and inspiring examples of love’s power to change lives, this book guides readers in putting love to work in all of their interpersonal relationships.

Convinced that in a world of constant conflict people desperately need authentic love, Chapman paints a compelling vision of how life can be richer and relationships more satisfying for anyone who practices Love As a Way of Life.


Gary Chapman is the author of twenty-five books, including the New York Times bestseller The Five Love Languages, with more than 4 million copies in print. His daily radio program, A Love Language Minute, is broadcast on more than 100 stations nationwide. Chapman, a graduate of Moody Bible Institute, Wheaton College, Wake-Forest University, and Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary, serves on the pastoral staff at Calvary Baptist Church in Winston-Salem, North Carolina





1. Describe some of the everyday situations that can be changed if a person has a foundation of love.

When love becomes the focus of ones life it will change every encounter we have with people. In the family, the husband is thinking, “what can I do before I leave for work that would be helpful for my wife?” Such thinking may lead him to take the trash out, put his breakfast plates in the dishwasher or feed the baby while his wife takes a shower.
In the workplace, employees are asking, “on my break, what might I do that would help someone else?” They will also make time to listen to a co-worker who seems to be having a hard time with a personal issue.

At the bank, post office, or cafeteria, the lover will look people in the eye and smile, perhaps opening the door to a conversation. They will express interest in what is going on in the lives of those they encounter.

The focus is not on “it’s all about me.” But, rather on “It is all about others.”

2. What is the take-away message of Love as a Way of Life?

Love as a Way of Life is designed to help the person who sincerely wants to make a positive impact in the world. I believe that is ‘most of us.’ Our biggest problem is that we don’t know how and we keep getting tripped up by our own selfish ambitions. The purpose of the book is to help us break free from the prison of selfishness and come to experience the satisfaction of truly loving others as a way of life. It is little acts of love that build up to a lifestyle of service.

3. Why do you need a foundation of love before you start figuring out our love languages?

The five love languages give information on the most effective way to express love in a meaningful way to a particular person. But, if you are not a loving person – don’t have the heart or will to focus on others – the information is of little value. Most of us must make a conscious change of focus from self to others if we are going to genuinely, and consistently enrich the lives of others. Love as a Way of Life is designed to help people make that change.

4. When did you realize the need for this book?

I first recognized the need for Love as a Way of Life when in a counseling session a husband said to me, “I’ll tell you right now, if it is going to take my washing dishes, and doing the laundry for my wife to feel loved, you can forget that.” I had just explained to him the concept of the five love languages and that his wife’s primary love language was ‘acts of service’ and that these acts would deeply communicate his love to her. I realized that he lacked the will to meet his wife’s need for love. He was locked into his own perception of what his role was to be and it did not include washing dishes and doing laundry. I knew at that moment that there was something more foundational than simply knowing a person’s love language.

5. What are the seven characteristics of lasting love?

I view love not as a single entity, but as a cluster of traits, which if developed will enhance all of life. These traits are:
Kindness: discovering the joy of helping others
Patience: accepting the imperfections of others
Forgiveness: finding freedom from the grip of anger
Courtesy: treating others as friends
Humility: stepping down so someone else can step up
Generosity: giving your time, money, and abilities to others
Honesty: caring enough to tell the truth

6. Why do you think it’s so hard for people to embrace these characteristics?

All of us have some of these characteristics to some degree. Most people see love as being better than hate. But most of us are comfortable to live somewhere between love and hate in a lifestyle that is fundamentally focused on self. We feel good when we are making money, accumulating things, gaining status, but in time these things do not ultimately satisfy what I call the ‘true self’. The true self longs to make the world a better place to live. To do something to help those less fortunate than we.

However, we all suffer from the malady of being ego-centric. I call this the ‘false self’. It is that part of man that pulls him to focus on self-preservation and a self-centered lifestyle. This is not all bad. Indeed we must meet our own physical and emotional needs in order to continue life. It is when we never get beyond this self focus, that life becomes a ‘dog eat dog’ world where everyone is out for self even at the expense of others. Such a life never brings long-term satisfaction. However it is often later in life that people discover the emptiness of selfish living. I’m hoping that Love as a Way of Life will help people discover the satisfaction of developing the ‘true self’ earlier in life.

15 comments:

  1. Anonymous11:56 PM

    I know several people who rave about the benefit of learning "love language". Many of them say it has really helped their marriage. I'd love to preview it. Thanks Pam
    aliadam from FR pamelashockley @ netscape. net

    ReplyDelete
  2. I would love to read this book, thanks for givin us a chance.

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  3. I really enjoy "The 5 Love Languages" by Gary Chapman, I would love to read this one too...

    Janna
    ryanx6 at msn dot com

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  4. Love is such an important foundation for life! :) Please include me in the drawing. Thank you.

    stacey_dale[at]yahoo[dot]com

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  5. I found this link through your PBS post and would like to be entered! I've never read any of Dr. Chapman's books, but this one looks great. Thanks for the chance to win!

    author_erin(at)lycos(dot)com

    ReplyDelete
  6. I really enjoy Gary's books. Please enter me in the drawing as I would love to win the book.)

    Blessings,
    Jo
    ladijo40(at)aol(dot)com

    ReplyDelete
  7. blue summer skies5:44 PM

    I've heard lots of good things about this book. please include me in the contest.

    ldneuhof(at)hotmail(dot)com

    ReplyDelete
  8. Kim C. (Phooey at pbs)8:58 PM

    I know it's really off-topic, but I love the red chair in your top pictures (with the book) - it'd go perfectly in my living room. :) Thanks for your kind offer - I've heard a lot about, but haven't read 'love language' yet.


    Kim C.
    (Phooey from PBS)

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  9. This sounds like an interesting book. I've heard great things about it. Thanks for holding the drawing!

    Anna (Diary of an Eccentric)

    anna_begood at hotmail dot com

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  10. I love Gary Chapman! I've purchased 3 copies of Five Love Languages and given two of them away as gifts.
    Please enter my name.
    smilingsal55[at]yahoo[dot]com

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  11. April9:03 PM

    Thanks for this chance at this book. It looks like a wonderful resource.

    April

    adanger at live dot com

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  12. This book looks good!
    cpullum@yahoo.com

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  13. I loved The 5 Love Langages. Chapman is great!
    cmrobin@bellsouth dot net

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  14. Gary Chapman's books are always great! This one sounds like a wonderful resource for our family's current study on the character quality of love... especially as it relates to siblings. :) Thanks for sharing!

    sferrill AT gmailDOTcom

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  15. congrats to ingrid and cpullum for winning!

    ReplyDelete

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