Sunday, May 09, 2010

BEA Hopes and Fears

In two weeks I am going to be attending Book Expo America 2010 (BEA) in New York City.


I will also be attending Book Blogger Con 2010. (Thanks so much to the anonymous person who sponsored my fee!)

Book Blogger Convention

I'm excited because this is only my second time going to NYC (read about my first time here).

But you know what though? Even though I am very excited about going to NYC, seeing all the authors, and meeting all the book bloggers that are going to be there....I am terrified. What am I terrified of? Being alone. That sounds weird doesn't it considering there are going to be a TON of people there. But in all honestly, I'm worried that it's going to be like when you're in a room full of people and you feel totally alone and are the wallflower at the party.
This is me being totally open.

I'm really scared that I'm going to go with great expectations and have it fall short. I don't want it to be that way, but already I'm feeling left out. I'm worried that because I mainly review books in a different genre from everyone else I won't fit in. This is normally not a problem, but because I don't normally read a lot of contemporary literary fiction, I feel very left out in those types of conversation because I don't recognize the authors or books. Then it makes me feel like my reading is not up to par with everyone else. I'm worried that I'll either be walking around the exhibition area by myself or tagging along with other people who don't really want me there. I'm scared that I won't get invited to any of the parties afterwards. I'm nervous that I will be the only blogger that none of the publishers and publicists will recognize.

I'm going to BEA on a really tight budget so I can't go to any author breakfasts nor do I think I can afford to be able to ship books back so I will have to limit how many I get. I'm staying with my brother in law in Brooklyn so that saves me A LOT on money. However at the same time, that makes me feel like an outsider because everyone else is staying in Manhattan in hotels, even rooming together for some. This means that every night I have to travel back by subway to Brooklyn while everyone else gets to hang out. People will be able to drop off stuff or even go back to their place during the day to change/shower and I won't be able to. I've filled out some contact forms to meet up with people but even then I'm still terrified that no want will want to hang out with me or everyone else will have already made plans and I'm the last to know.

I don't want to sound like I'm complaining or I'm going to be a Debbie Downer when I'm there. Honestly I'm really thrilled to go and I'm super excited. I'm just scared of feeling left out. I'm a natural worrier and a pessimist by habit. Also I'm extremely introverted in groups (it might seem different on twitter) so I am not the type of person to jump into a conversation or can table hop. I always feel as if I'm being an inconvenience to others so I tend not to invite myself to go along unless I know I'm really wanted. Hopefully all these feelings will go away.

So all those who are going to BEA and Book Blogger Con, give me all your advice that you think I will need. Help me to not be so scared and worried. Please! :)

9 comments:

  1. Every blogger will be exactly the way you think they are, and everyone will be thrilled to see/meet you! Just be prepared to be called, "Books, Movies & Chinese Food" instead of Deborah. You will find someone that you will click with and off you'll go - then you'll run into someone else and go off with them. You will not be alone. There is a luggage check at Javits - you can bring an empty suitcase & leave books in it during the day. Try not to stress too much - believe me, you will have a great time and will meet lots of people who will love you!

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  2. I worried about being alone during the convention last year as well but I barely was! You are going to run into people left and right! They will either recognize you or see your name tag and go "Oh I know you!!!!!" And we read some of the same books!!!

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  3. You will be fine...be confident and don't worry...be yourself and be open to all kinds of book chat...

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  4. =D I think you aren't alone in some of those fears there! And yes, I'll recognize you first by your blog name. And I am actually very much looking forward to meeting you. Not reading many modern novels, I'll be in the same boat as yourself. ;D

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  5. Whatever! Last year I dragged Julie and Kathy to some of the Christian fiction places and I read christian fiction too. The first time I went to BEA I barely knew any of the authors but it didn't stop me from lusting after their books!

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  6. I am so jealous that you are going! I want to go so bad (I wish that it wasn't planned during the last weeks of my school year each year!)

    But I would have the same fear you have (and I'm sure many other bloggers do too!! But I bet you will have a blast and I can't wait to hear all about it when you get back!

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  7. I am so excited to hear about this trip! If I was in your shoes I think I would be having many of the same fears since I can be quite the introvert. ;) But I am confident you will have a wonderful time!

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  8. Trust me, you won't be alone at all! You have my cell number, just buzz me if you are feeling lonely and I'll totally hang out with you :).

    Honestly, though, you won't have time to be lonely. BEA will exceed your expectations, I guarantee it!

    And, if you do need to ship some back, I don't mind adding them to the box I ship back. Just let me know!

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  9. I bet you a lot of people are feeling that way! I'll look out for you when I'm there!!

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